An Open Letter To Every Woman Who Gave Too Much Of Herself To The Wrong Guy – Redux

This is a response piece to the excellent article, the title I stole from, posted by gal pal of mine on Facebook, which I felt sort of fizzled out in the end. It says:

“...Just continue to love the way that you always have, and you’re going to eventually find the same kind of love for yourself....”

I suggested that it should have ended like this, though:

: "Pick yourself up, dust yourself, in fact, clean your heart with Dettol. Start your life with new vigour, (a) brilliant addition to the heaping mount of your wisdom and roar while kicking ass your way to the top. They will come chasing after you and you will have the luxury to evaluate and make wise choices".

My friend challenged me to write a piece that affirms what I had stated. I shall. I took that challenge.

Now, I forgot which film character that says he is an expert in women because he had relationships with too many of them (I suspect its James Bond, either in book or film, I can't recall). I had two marriages, and perhaps a short affair in between that almost bloomed before I figured out that I am going to be goddam Michael Douglas to her Faye Dunaway (Fatal Attraction) or Sharon Stone (Basic Instinct)....poor guy. Am I an expert in women and related stuff? No way. I am very close to my mother, and I am still figuring her out after goddam 47 years.

But I would like to ask, how much of yourselves have you given out, girls? All of it? Physically, perhaps some has gone as far as their conscience has allowed. Let us not go in there, but more physical intimacy do let to stronger emotional bond erupting and growing, not climaxing. For men, mostly, it does.

Most men feel that accomplishment has been set once they have gone horizontal and physical deep with the woman. After that, perhaps some adventure and then, it becomes routine. And when things go south, they will hit the bar and tell their best friends on how they can never understand women. The best friends who probably didn't have much cash in them that day would go, “tell me about it, bro?” and pour alcohol into the furnace.

My question to all those wonderful, beautiful, lovely and easily hurt girls is this: why the quest for that Right guy? You will never get one. You know why?

Evolution.

I can't vouch for gals, but we men evolve every minute. Granted some sizes remain the same, our cultural inhibition, our absorption factor always and have mostly been changing. Sure, we stick to our favourite football team. Because that's a typical male ego. I have been supporting Tottenham since I was a kid because at that particular time they goddam won the league and it was cool to support them, and I will continue to do so because...dammit I support them.

But men do not get sexual pleasure from watching sweaty men going after one bloody ball. It's something else, involving endorphins, etc. but mostly, it's massaging their ego when the team wins. Maybe there was some sort of perverted pleasure derived from it watching 22 pair of balls going after a bigger one.

Ditto when it comes to politics. Of course, we men do switch camp, but most of the time we are fiercely loyal.

Alas, the same does not apply to sex. Men evolve in their tastes in sex and preference for partners.  Pornography and prostitution would not exist if a guy was faithful to his woman the same way he is faithful to the Brazil football team his entire life even he had never set his frickin' foot there, nor would he last more than a week living there.

Loyalty to women evolve when they find that the creatures they are attached to are way too complex and could not be understood. Many resort to violence because they are too dumb to reason, we know that. I was almost there many times because I was, pardon my French, dumb fuck and was under the influence of substance.

The point, my dear beautiful members of the fairer sex, loyalty is the stuff of legend. Sure, there are few exceptions, especially those who had given up their lives. That's because it borders on obsession, and that is an entirely different psychological predicament altogether.

My thoughts for the gals is this, to hell with Mr Right. If the entire nation can still struggle with finding the right leader, what pain would it take for one individual, one gal, to find Mr Right? One of the most beautiful actresses in Hollywood who also happened to be one of the greatest (Oscar-winning, twice) actress is Elizabeth Taylor and story about her series of relationship is a stuff of legend. She even married the same man (Richard Burton) twice, and that's openly admitting your mistake and doing it again and moving on, I tell you. And that didn't diminish her image as one of Tinseltown's legends.

Let relationships happen, trust your instinct. It's okay if you are wrong. Everyone can be wrong and have been including geniuses like Einstein. Take it by your stride and work towards becoming a contributor to your family, society, country and the entire world. You don't need sex for heirs, adopt, or go to the lab. Live the life how you want to live it and just don't hurt anyone in the process.

I mentioned this in that Facebook post and I repeat it here, as my humble, very pathetic advice especially to gals who had just had a break-up, "Pick yourself up, dust yourself, in fact, clean your heart with Dettol. Start a life with new vigour, a brilliant addition to the heaping mount of your wisdom and roar while kicking ass your way to the top. They will come chasing after you and you will have the luxury to evaluate and make wise choices".

I always tell this in my online media sharing, its time for women to be at the helm. We men had screwed up the environment, created a weapon of mass destruction and have twisted moral values according to our whims and fancies. And gave the world Rob Schneider. The world is dying. Indeed, we call it Mother Earth and rightfully, women should be in charge of it...