Sonic The Hedgehog (2019)

The only reason why I wanted to watch this movie was to see Jim Carrey hamming it up. I wanted to see whatever improv that came through that finally shone the light again on his manic sense of humour that has been missing for a long time. Also, I didn’t give a rat's ass on the goddam hedgehog (are they rodents?).

I ended up disappointed big time with Jim. And I still didn’t give a rodent’s ass on the goddam Hedgehog. What is it, anyway? From what I understand, it’s a video game that is perhaps not as old as Mario Bros but certainly not really as popular as the pixelated Mexican siblings - enough to convince the studio to make a big budget flick out of this when they did that with the earlier game, the movie sank like....oh man, I can't think of anything other than that big boat.

I am not sure where exactly the promise was. After years of being in the dark, with his off-screen antics and Hagrid beard, Jim was finally strutting his stuff on big screen …. Big time. This could have been a delicious role, remember how he stole the show from heavyweights like Tommy Lee Jones and George goddam Clooney in the franchise leaking Batman and Robin. I loved him in it, alongside Arnold…the only reason to ever revisit the film (no, don’t…I was just saying, okay. Don’t).

As with most of the reviews, I do not spell out the plot as I assume that the very few who are emotionally blackmailed into reading my reviews would not care anyway. In any case, stop reading now. I…I…don't really have anything nice to say about this flick.

As I mentioned, it has been a long time since I saw Carrey and saw him well. He has been making headlines for the wrong reason, and it sort of reminded me of Joaquin Phoenix who was hanging around with chin Afro… only to reveal that he did it for a documentary. I can’t remember that documentary. Do you? Sheesh.

Yes, as mentioned Carrey looked like he was landing a role possibly to play Hagrid in the remake of Harry Potter, and have no two human-reproduction-actions to image and whatnots. And then, it was announced that he will play the bad guy in the big-screen adaptation of this video game. Sure...I was game.

In all fairness, there was plenty of Carrey-ism in the flick. He sure looked like he was having a time of his life…maybe for a while. Then, it all seemed as laboured as a typical day’s work voicing cartoon villains. Just ask Mark Hamill… only Carrey seemed to have run out of stuff from his bag of tricks. All used up. In some comedian’s hand, like Robin Williams, even an empty bag might contain some remaining gold dust. Carrey’s treasure chest was just filled with….dust.

It’s tough to mask my disappointment, having first been rejoiced to see him playing Ace Ventura… “Hey,” I told my brothers, “that’s the guy from In Living Colour”… an all-black reworking of Saturday Night Live with Jim and another gal playing the token white.  

But what a fall…my favourite Hollywood comedian of all time after Groucho Marx, Robin Williams made a successful transition from TV to the big screen, from comedy to playing dramatic roles, winning honours and that golden bald guy. It is a very tough act to follow for any comedians.

Carrey had his own share of accolades for sure, but it seems he has…oh, I hate to say this and I hope I am wrong, burnt out! I do hope he makes a full recovery soon.

As to this film, I would recommend you guys to give it a miss. The superfast, speedy Gonzales hedgehog is fun to a certain level. But lack of creative input from Carrey made me sad. The actions scenes in the film look about as recycled as politicians speeches. The animation meshing with live action is nothing much to shout about. The action is mundane even if the hedgehog is purportedly lightning fast. The shticks like Sonic playing baseball with itself is…no, guys, I’m not interested.

I am expecting this to be a big-time flop and Jim is gonna go mourning as he seemed to have been considering that…it’s a mighty fall from the 90s and the early 00s when he was in that 20/20 club remember? Find the pub where John Travolta goes to, Jim….do some soul searching and come back. We lost Robin…some of us are looking up to you now…

In any case, I have a nagging feeling that kids will like it…or at least the first half an hour. Otherwise, they are going to be faster than the bloody hedgehog wanting to rush out when the film is not even finished yet.