And that would be an understatement, especially when you take
note of the great pile of dung that has speedily been gathering up lately,
especially with inept leadership all over the world, most notably in our own
country, and that nature really, really hates
us.
Allow me to weave in and out of the country, to the
international events, and pick some of the most interesting events, which
usually means lots of face-palming and groaning. Hold on to your horses, or,
anything else, err…handy.
X-citing Leadership
In the global arena, mid-January was greeted by the
appointment of a new King in Denmark (yes, descendants of Hamlet, in a way), Crown
Prince Frederick who would be King
Frederick X. Malaysians would probably be taken aback a trifle to note
that, yes, we have our own very X, PMX
(not to be confused with the motocross bicycle…you know, the one you ride on). The
algebraic nature of X being filled with anything and everything will be the
theme of our prime minister – that has since baffled his most hardcore
supporters, especially members of the Bersih coalition
that used to surrender themselves on the road, rolling their
bodies on tar and gravel like Hindu devotees during Thaipusam. The leader and agent
provocateur of the coalition, Margaret
Hamilton, pardon me, Ambiga Sreenivasan, later expressed her disappointment over the slow-reform
that the current leadership has been doling out. Gee Ambi, what were you
expecting? Another Abraham Lincoln? Here we have a former jailbird who got
behind bare not because he fought for our country’s freedom, but his sexual
freedom.
The good news, though, for
Malaysians, like Denmark, we got ourselves a new King
too. This time, it’s the no-nonsense Sultan of Johore. Those who know the Johore royalty (I come from
that state) knows that the members there do not treat words like meat in
Bolognese sauce. They love the subjects (Johoreans, not you other buggers and
gals) and are equally very firm. And yes, we use pasta for our laksa.
The first thing the king did was to
give warnings to the MPs in parliament to not “overstep
the boundaries”. This is very much in the view that the parliament has
indeed become circus-like with cracks
in the alliances, hocus pocus of quitting
and some MPs going rogue
like batik-wearing Rambo or something.
The Swift US of A.
Speaking of which, the US
continued with its usual way of life, including another school shooting
incident killing
a sixth grader and wounding 7 other folks. Ah, American way of life, the NFL,
Budweiser and shooting of kids in school - a great tradition like Thanksgiving
turkey that goes all the way to 1764.
February though – bereft of any schoolkid shooting – still belonged
to the Americans and one in particular – Joe Biden…. Haha, who am I kidding? 2024, as far as US is concerned belonged to Taylor Swift. Yes, the world was
invaded by Swiftmania rather…err, swiftly. Why, according to this entry,
“...she made history when she won the Grammy Award for album of the year for Midnights
(2022), becoming the first artist to win in that category four times. Later
that year she broke the record for the highest-grossing concert tour when her
global Eras Tour wrapped up in December, having earned a whopping $2 billion”.
That could feed the members of the entire Forbes billionaire list.
Malaysians were so charmed, so much so, they watched in awe as
Swift performed live in…. Singapore.
It’s no secret that international artists tend to jump over our country like clogged
drain to the island next door to do mega concerts. Hell, even over-the-hill
Indian artistes are postponing
their concerts…and typical of discipline-averse Indian artistes - with their “great
management skills” - the concert “A Lovely Night with Udit Narayan”, was called
off days before it was due to be held at the Setia Spice Arena on Nov 28. This
is actually a sequel to another Bollywood concert pulled
out last minute at end of last year as well. A concerted coitus interruptus.
There is nothing wrong with that. It is just that we already
have the reputation for banning artists from coming and performing here; there
is a whole bunch
of history
of us banning musicians coming here to play. To the point that most international artists
look at us the way vegetarian monks look at medium rare steaks.
KK ‘k?
Come March, we had the Kalimah Allah issue (yeah, you are
permitted to shake your head slowly, sadly, and sigh your tobacco or vape smoke
out), which I have written about in-depth here.
There were cries of boycott and braying for blood. It has so much of effect
that the affected party, the KK convenience store, has opened
up more outlets. Whole point of being a” convenience” store which we call out
for blood conveniently and then shop for convenience, parking our vehicles next
to the outlet… illegally. It’s a must or you are not a Malaysian. It’s business
as usual now for KK Mart and its customers. Others may call it hypocrisy; we
call it, “quick to forgive”. Hey it’s in all
holy
books.
Bombing Aids.
As the conflict in Middle-East continued in the tradition of
1001 Nights, March also saw – surprise, surprise - the US dropping humanitarian aid in the war-torn Northern Gaza. What do you call a duck hunter that kills the
mother duck, and spreads seeds for the ducklings. Fattening them up?
Naturally, wry comments sprung up, whereby Dave Harden, a
former USAID director, noted,
"The airdrops are symbolic and designed in ways to appease the domestic
base.".
Skin Theatre
Actually the whole bloody operation was completely criticised
for being screwed up, whereby Oxfam (Oxford Committee for Famine Relief) stated
that it did not support the "ineffective"
aid drops and called them a way "to relieve the guilty consciences of
senior US officials". Al Jazeera English described
the airdrops as an "absurd spectacle aimed more at the news cameras than
the people who need it.". Over here we just call it wayang.
In May, the country was faced with a shocking news which was
not quiet wayang as it added to the ever-growing frustration against the
football fraternity here – poorly paid players.
Haha, who am I kidding again? No, our football fraternity, already
thick-skinned with getting trashed in the international arena, is now getting
skin thinned by – acid attack.
Among
others, that is. Yes, check the link and figure out the news yourself. Our
sports minister, Hannah Yeoh, urged for a speedy investigation and blah, blah,
blah. And nothing has been heard from here on this issue since. I tried
searching for Hannah Yeoh’s latest news to see if she has gotten on top of the
situation and become a guardian angel to these vulnerable footballers…and voila,
I got this headline: Police confirm 7 reports filed against Yeoh. Oh
well, business as usual.
Speaking of wayang, we now have a tourism ambassador - from a film industry, nevertheless - heading the news announcements in the
month of June – for the state of Melaka. Yes, it is Hang Tuah. Haha. Again, who's leg am I pulling? It’s more of Hang Li Poh, actually, as Chinese movie star Fan
Bingbing was appointed
as Melaka Tourism ambassador. It’s a beautiful premise, almost as if Shah Rukh
Khan was appointed as ambassador Marshall of Texas.
Tragic mid-year
Tragically, two headlines shocked the country in the months of July and August,
involving both Malaysian Indian and an Indian from India. In July, social media influencer A.
Rajeswary Appahu, known as Esha, was found dead
in an apparent suicide. So, the communications minister announced amendments to
the communication and multimedia act. The sad usual mentality of getting things
done only when tragedy strikes that has been prevailing our country for so long.
Likewise, an Indian national literally sank
without trace in Masjid India. Till today nothing is known of what has
happened, as she will join MH370 to be featured in future “unsolved mystery” shows
and content entries.
Vanitick-tock
As far as social media is concerned, 2024 is definitely the
year of TikTok. What was once dismissed as a bunch of kids’ online playgrounds is now joined by professionals and politicians plugging their stuff and
attempting to look as cool and hip as we wish they are ardent students of hara-kiri.
But nobody
is paying any mind to them. Despite being celebrated more for the embarrassing moments,
the damned thing reached a billion users two years ago and is expected to
generate US$4 billion in influencer marketing spending. Yes, influencer is now even more
powerful than a sales/marketing evangelist or actual religion evangelists
(whichever is more profitable and has access to minors). At least influencers
sound less threatening – though it rhymes with influenza.
Budge It.
Hark! October has arrived, and y’all know the best part of
the month – October Fest. Yes, but that’s elsewhere, despite the fact that here
and there pubs in the country do very, very, tame cleavage-less events. No,
it’s an equally fantastic day of great promises and high, drunken lies that precede
bad hangover and only sensual reward you get is watching related Ministers
smacking their lips when the related allocations are mentioned.
Yes. In Malaysia, October is the month of Budget. This year,
it is boasted, has the biggest budget ever in the history of the country. Which
is a nice backhanded compliment to another record – debt that reached RM1.173
trillion, an increase of RM92.918 billion (8.6%) from the previous year. It may
look frightening, but the article
where I took the figure from assured me, hopefully you the readers, and the
horse named Boo, that is not something to worry about. Let’s look at the
article’s grandfatherly reassurance:
“…. not all debt is inherently bad. If managed correctly and
used to fund productive investments, the debt could generate returns that more
than offset the costs. The key is ensuring that borrowed funds are allocated to
projects that stimulate economic growth and improve the country’s fiscal health
in the long term…...”
Keywords “managed correctly”. In Malaysia? Where politicians
get their respective asses hauled regularly in court for treating public money
like personal whores? Right.
Trust issue
As if “budget” sparked a curse or something, the month of November
immediately hauled Khazanah Nasional – yes, our very own treasury – into the
limelight (or headline, whichever you prefer) with the issue
involving Fashionvalet Sdn Bhd prompting the anti-corruption crusaders, MACC to
confiscate documents from the…. wait for it…
…. finance ministry and Khazanah itself. How about that? The
private company has been charged with criminal breach of trust. But what about
public’s trust with our national treasury that has gone down the toilet bowl?
And so, we end the year with the news of a PKR member insulting the Agong. Ever since Najib has left the stage, the royalties has been subject to not too flattering statements and off-the-cuff remarks by some prominent politicians. Since the cat has been away, the rodent leaders have been cartwheeling their cheese with glee.
So, there you go. There may have not been absolutely
shocking events that rocked the country to the core like the drop in fuel price
as promised. It’s going to be status quo, until the next election, less the
folks are swayed again by empty promises. Till the next year in review, happy
New Year.
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