2024: End Of the Crappy Trilogy.

    

This will be a follow-up to my reviews of the years 2022 and 2023 both years which got progressively worse especially for us Malaysians. This year, 2024, ends the (hopefully) the shitty trilogy – the next era will be made for TV short-lived miniseries – if you get my cynicism here. Unless Malaysians get to their senses and do something about it – like not believing that one man can reduce the fuel price the next day after he wins election. Simple, right?

And that would be an understatement, especially when you take note of the great pile of dung that has speedily been gathering up lately, especially with inept leadership all over the world, most notably in our own country, and that nature really, really hates us.

Allow me to weave in and out of the country, to the international events, and pick some of the most interesting events, which usually means lots of face-palming and groaning. Hold on to your horses, or, anything else, err…handy.

X-citing Leadership

In the global arena, mid-January was greeted by the appointment of a new King in Denmark (yes, descendants of Hamlet, in a way), Crown Prince Frederick who would be King Frederick X. Malaysians would probably be taken aback a trifle to note that, yes, we have our own very X, PMX (not to be confused with the motocross bicycle…you know, the one you ride on). The algebraic nature of X being filled with anything and everything will be the theme of our prime minister – that has since baffled his most hardcore supporters, especially members of the Bersih coalition that used to surrender themselves on the road, rolling their bodies on tar and gravel like Hindu devotees during Thaipusam. The leader and agent provocateur of the coalition, Margaret Hamilton, pardon me, Ambiga Sreenivasan, later expressed her disappointment over the slow-reform that the current leadership has been doling out. Gee Ambi, what were you expecting? Another Abraham Lincoln? Here we have a former jailbird who got behind bare not because he fought for our country’s freedom, but his sexual freedom.

The good news, though, for Malaysians, like Denmark, we got ourselves a new King too. This time, it’s the no-nonsense Sultan of Johore. Those who know the Johore royalty (I come from that state) knows that the members there do not treat words like meat in Bolognese sauce. They love the subjects (Johoreans, not you other buggers and gals) and are equally very firm. And yes, we use pasta for our laksa.

The first thing the king did was to give warnings to the MPs in parliament to not “overstep the boundaries”. This is very much in the view that the parliament has indeed become circus-like with cracks in the alliances, hocus pocus of quitting and some MPs going rogue like batik-wearing Rambo or something.

The Swift US of A.

Speaking of which, the US continued with its usual way of life, including another school shooting incident killing a sixth grader and wounding 7 other folks. Ah, American way of life, the NFL, Budweiser and shooting of kids in school - a great tradition like Thanksgiving turkey that goes all the way to 1764.

February though – bereft of any schoolkid shooting – still belonged to the Americans and one in particular – Joe Biden…. Haha, who am I kidding? 2024, as far as US is concerned belonged to Taylor Swift. Yes, the world was invaded by Swiftmania rather…err, swiftly. Why, according to this entry, “...she made history when she won the Grammy Award for album of the year for Midnights (2022), becoming the first artist to win in that category four times. Later that year she broke the record for the highest-grossing concert tour when her global Eras Tour wrapped up in December, having earned a whopping $2 billion”. That could feed the members of the entire Forbes billionaire list.

Malaysians were so charmed, so much so, they watched in awe as Swift performed live in…. Singapore. It’s no secret that international artists tend to jump over our country like clogged drain to the island next door to do mega concerts. Hell, even over-the-hill Indian artistes are postponing their concerts…and typical of discipline-averse Indian artistes -  with their “great management skills”  - the concert  “A Lovely Night with Udit Narayan”, was called off days before it was due to be held at the Setia Spice Arena on Nov 28. This is actually a sequel to another Bollywood concert pulled out last minute at end of last year as well. A concerted coitus interruptus.

There is nothing wrong with that. It is just that we already have the reputation for banning artists from coming and performing here; there is a whole bunch of history of us banning musicians coming here to play. To the point that most international artists look at us the way vegetarian monks look at medium rare steaks.

KK ‘k?

Come March, we had the Kalimah Allah issue (yeah, you are permitted to shake your head slowly, sadly, and sigh your tobacco or vape smoke out), which I have written about in-depth here. There were cries of boycott and braying for blood. It has so much of effect that the affected party, the KK convenience store, has opened up more outlets. Whole point of being a” convenience” store which we call out for blood conveniently and then shop for convenience, parking our vehicles next to the outlet… illegally. It’s a must or you are not a Malaysian. It’s business as usual now for KK Mart and its customers. Others may call it hypocrisy; we call it, “quick to forgive”. Hey it’s in all holy books.

Bombing Aids.

As the conflict in Middle-East continued in the tradition of 1001 Nights, March also saw – surprise, surprise - the US dropping humanitarian aid in the war-torn Northern Gaza. What do you call a duck hunter that kills the mother duck, and spreads seeds for the ducklings. Fattening them up?

Naturally, wry comments sprung up, whereby Dave Harden, a former USAID director, noted, "The airdrops are symbolic and designed in ways to appease the domestic base.".

Skin Theatre

Actually the whole bloody operation was completely criticised for being screwed up, whereby Oxfam (Oxford Committee for Famine Relief) stated that it did not support the "ineffective" aid drops and called them a way "to relieve the guilty consciences of senior US officials". Al Jazeera English described the airdrops as an "absurd spectacle aimed more at the news cameras than the people who need it.". Over here we just call it wayang.

In May, the country was faced with a shocking news which was not quiet wayang as it added to the ever-growing frustration against the football fraternity here – poorly paid players.

Haha, who am I kidding again? No, our football fraternity, already thick-skinned with getting trashed in the international arena, is now getting skin thinned by – acid attack.

Among others, that is. Yes, check the link and figure out the news yourself. Our sports minister, Hannah Yeoh, urged for a speedy investigation and blah, blah, blah. And nothing has been heard from here on this issue since. I tried searching for Hannah Yeoh’s latest news to see if she has gotten on top of the situation and become a guardian angel to these vulnerable footballers…and voila, I got this headline: Police confirm 7 reports filed against Yeoh. Oh well, business as usual.

Speaking of wayang, we now have a tourism ambassador - from a film industry, nevertheless - heading the news announcements in the month of June – for the state of Melaka. Yes, it is Hang Tuah. Haha. Again, who's leg am I pulling? It’s more of Hang Li Poh, actually, as Chinese movie star Fan Bingbing was appointed as Melaka Tourism ambassador. It’s a beautiful premise, almost as if Shah Rukh Khan was appointed as ambassador Marshall of Texas.

Tragic mid-year

Tragically, two headlines shocked the country in the months of July and August, involving both Malaysian Indian and an Indian from India. In July, social media influencer A. Rajeswary Appahu, known as Esha, was found dead in an apparent suicide. So, the communications minister announced amendments to the communication and multimedia act. The sad usual mentality of getting things done only when tragedy strikes that has been prevailing our country for so long. Likewise, an Indian national literally sank without trace in Masjid India. Till today nothing is known of what has happened, as she will join MH370 to be featured in future “unsolved mystery” shows and content entries.

Vanitick-tock

As far as social media is concerned, 2024 is definitely the year of TikTok. What was once dismissed as a bunch of kids’ online playgrounds is now joined by professionals and politicians plugging their stuff and attempting to look as cool and hip as we wish they are ardent students of hara-kiri. But nobody is paying any mind to them. Despite being celebrated more for the embarrassing moments, the damned thing reached a billion users two years ago and is expected to generate US$4 billion in influencer marketing spending. Yes, influencer is now even more powerful than a sales/marketing evangelist or actual religion evangelists (whichever is more profitable and has access to minors). At least influencers sound less threatening – though it rhymes with influenza.

Budge It.

Hark! October has arrived, and y’all know the best part of the month – October Fest. Yes, but that’s elsewhere, despite the fact that here and there pubs in the country do very, very, tame cleavage-less events. No, it’s an equally fantastic day of great promises and high, drunken lies that precede bad hangover and only sensual reward you get is watching related Ministers smacking their lips when the related allocations are mentioned.

Yes. In Malaysia, October is the month of Budget. This year, it is boasted, has the biggest budget ever in the history of the country. Which is a nice backhanded compliment to another record – debt that reached RM1.173 trillion, an increase of RM92.918 billion (8.6%) from the previous year. It may look frightening, but the article where I took the figure from assured me, hopefully you the readers, and the horse named Boo, that is not something to worry about. Let’s look at the article’s grandfatherly reassurance:

“…. not all debt is inherently bad. If managed correctly and used to fund productive investments, the debt could generate returns that more than offset the costs. The key is ensuring that borrowed funds are allocated to projects that stimulate economic growth and improve the country’s fiscal health in the long term…...”

Keywords “managed correctly”. In Malaysia? Where politicians get their respective asses hauled regularly in court for treating public money like personal whores? Right.

Trust issue

As if “budget” sparked a curse or something, the month of November immediately hauled Khazanah Nasional – yes, our very own treasury – into the limelight (or headline, whichever you prefer) with the issue involving Fashionvalet Sdn Bhd prompting the anti-corruption crusaders, MACC to confiscate documents from the…. wait for it…

…. finance ministry and Khazanah itself. How about that? The private company has been charged with criminal breach of trust. But what about public’s trust with our national treasury that has gone down the toilet bowl?

And so, we end the year with the news of a PKR member insulting the Agong. Ever since Najib has left the stage, the royalties has been subject to not too flattering statements and off-the-cuff remarks by some prominent politicians. Since the cat has been away, the rodent leaders have been cartwheeling their cheese with glee. 

So, there you go. There may have not been absolutely shocking events that rocked the country to the core like the drop in fuel price as promised. It’s going to be status quo, until the next election, less the folks are swayed again by empty promises. Till the next year in review, happy New Year.

Gladiator 2 (2024).

A quarter of a century has passed since the Gladiator premiered all over the world. I was 24 years old at the time, working in Singapore. I had just started taming myself as a cinephile, a movie nut, or a celluloid freak, if you will.

 I had watched Russell Crowe in LA Confidential before and saw a magazine cover proclaiming that he is the next Brando. You kidding me? I watched Gladiator later, and my jaw dropped. He is a mix of the classic Hollywood stars like Heston and Mitchum, plus Brando and de Niro. The dude has it.

 Plus, he made me cry. I cry only to Tamil films starring Sivaji Ganesan, Kamal Haasan, or Rajinikanth. But Russell Crowe? Dammit, man!

 Now, fast forward to the 25-year mark, and the same director, Ridley Scott, released a sequel. A goddamned sequel. Nobody asked for it. The hell is wrong with him? When it was announced, I just facepalmed and said, it ain't gonna work.

 And watching it, it exactly was how all of us (yeah, many were facepalming to the point that their mothers couldn't recognise the kids) had imagined. It's not as good as the first.

 But is it bad? I never liked almost all of what Ridley Scott has directed since the first Gladiator. Even Napoleon was a snoozefest.

 Now that Crowe's character kicked the bucket in the first film, I had nothing to look forward to in this film. I told myself that it's going to stink so bad that I would crawl my way back towards the movie theater exit.

 But.

 Yes. But.

Lately,  I had this habit of watching important films on big screen right after lunch. Yeah, you get sleepy, and will the film engage you? My favourite director's film failed that test.

 I had pasta, Marinara, then apple pie. I walked in, knowing well that I was going to have a great nap. Early YouTube reviews were, well, negative. So what.

 But whaddya know. I was engaged. Marinara failed, and so did the goddamned apple pie.

 You see, when they announced that Denzel Washington was gonna be in this movie, I went, “Oh, come on!”. I mean, he is a great actor, but he ain't no Meryll Streep, the chameleon of a performer. Washington basically does a lot of grimacing, lip-smacking, shit, and stuff. No. He is more of an Eastwood kinda performer, limited but knows how to draw the gun and hit the target.

 Yet, I can see why Scott chose him. Thanks to Washington's performance in Training Day (2001), dry, negative, and, as they say in the industry, typed against cast, he was a triumph in this film. He is the livewire. Without him, there is no film.

 Look, I had always had this opinion, if I may, that Denzel is overrated. He is mostly himself, but in a classic sort of way, say, Steve McQueen—a great actor who always brings magic to each film.

 And that is exactly what he brought to the film. Take him out, and the film collapses like a frameless circus tent.

 There are one too many Collesuem fight scenes, which may bore some out, but they are intriguing. All the onscreen performers did their best, and I was so overjoyed to see Connie Nielsen again. Never aged (there is a flashback scene where I suppose they did about 17 minutes of work to de-age her). I fell in love with her in the first film, and well, I injured myself this time. Oh, she's a great actress too.

 The Mescal and Pascal dudes did their job well. I think the whole thing about connecting to the first film is a bit of a whacky con job just to satisfy the fans of the earlier film, with even clips with Crowe shoved in (it could have been dealt with with just dialogues alone), but what the hell?

 Yet, I liked it. It's not going to be a classic like the 1999 flick, no way. But watched on its own, it has its own merit. It's alright. But unlike the first one, I do not think I would wanna rewatch it. And despite that, 
I shall just give it a thumbs up.

 

 

Red One (2024)

Just posted a rather short review of Wicked. Now here comes an even shorter one.

Whoever thought The Rock would be a great movie star, maybe prophetic. But if they thought that he is the next Schwarzenegger... feggedaboutit.

As much as you can complain about Arnie’s acting, the man still had some stuff in him. With exception of heavy drama, he works well in any given genre.

That is not the case with Dwayne Johnson. He has probably three sets of expressions, and I am very generous here. I could never understand his so-called "charisma." He is too annoying, begs for attention, and, hell, annoying. And I hate the fact that he is well known for his eyebrow schtick. Have you heard of Sean Connery?

The film is stupid. There, I said it. And almost all the critics out there hate it. The premise of Santa Claus being kidnapped could have been worked into an awesome adventure fantasy flick instead of another vehicle for The Rock.

J.K. Simmons is fine as Santa. I liked Chris Evans, but his “whoa” looks can be grating at times, but he did fine with whatever material he has.

So, there you go. I think this is even shorter than my Wicked review. The critics already created a bomb crater for this missile to hit.

Wicked (2024}

I, for one, am not a fan of fantasy flicks; no Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings films were too heavy handed to me. I only watched the first two anyway.

And that, plus musical? The only Hollywood musical I enjoyed was The Blues Brothers (1980) and a slew of the pre-1960s stuff. Boy was in for a treat.

I didn’t quite enjoy myself. Sure, the production design was fabulous, and the CGI deployed is apt, considering the subject matter. But it was a drag, up to the point the two leads, played by Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande, meet the wizard, played with such relish by the one and only Jeff Goldblum.

Basically, being the sweet musical that it aspires to be, there is not much conflict, not much obstruction, in what would be some sort of road journey—after all, this is an adaptation of a book that is a prequel to The Wizard of Oz. A sort of origin story to the Witch, that is. Except that she is supposed to be... Wicked, yes, and...evil?

It’s boring as hell, except Grande managed to be cute and funny and steals the show here and there, as if that is necessary. Goldblum, is Goldblum... He is a delight even when reading a phone book (don’t tempt him; he is such a crowd-pleaser).

There’s supposed to be a part two? Ugh…