A Very Lame Post

This is Mr Lame Duck. Say hi to Lame, kids.

Though there are loads of work to do, it’s an hour and fifteen minutes to the beginning of a weekend. Plus, my blog post lately has mostly been on Tamil films. Shouldn’t it be about some crazy wolf, some news shit, you know things that contribute to the society besides low-fat yoghurt.

So I thought I comment on the world event today as per Google News.

On the top left corner Google news listed some names, let me comment.

Mitt Romney: How do you introduce him? Hi Alice, meet err…Mitt Romney.

Roger Federer: He always wants to be better. His brother was probably Roger Feder.

Tim Woods: Don’t get me started on puns related to his name. What a timber name. Haha. Okay, lame.

Kim Clijsters: Clit what??

Maria Sharapova: She still around?

Vladimir Putin: Tough luck, I ain’t commenting. I value my life.

Ricky Ponting: at what? Oh.

Syria: Burn baby burn.

Bernard Tomic: Imagine his name was Arnold instead. Arnold Tomic. A Tomic.

Brad Pitt: He’s still around?

Okay, Top Stories General.

PM: BN's focus is on long term gains to nation.

Can Najib be more original than issuing statements like this? How about “BN will focus on making chicken rice available at all toll counters”. Jeez, man.

Gillard aide quits after revealing Abbott's location

Monastery? Duh.

IJM and AZRB still awaiting formal letters of award from MRT Corp

More vowels? Jeez, man.

Australia on top as India stare at another embarrassing whitewash

It couldn’t raunchier and racist than that.

Why doesn't Apple have an Asia presence?

Huh? How do you explain all that goddam iPhones that kids earning less than my monkey’s uncle carrying here?

Broad 50 helps England push ahead

If 50 is broad, how would you describe 100? Obese?

Okay, Malaysian top stories now

Defence fails to prove cop gave contradictory testimony

Ah, murder trial. When are going to get headlines like, “cop confessed and ripped off defence lawyers head after becoming huge and green”. Jeez, man.

Liong Sik's cheating case ruling deferred

I’d retitle this as “Liong Sik’s cheating case ruling deferred and defecated”, and watch the clicks pouring in.

Dr Mahathir Conferred Honarary Doctorate In Thailand

Does that make him Dr. Dr. Mahathir. What did he do to Thailand?

We move to top southeast Asia news now.

Poachers get a taste for elephant meat

Which part? There, you dirty brained readers.

PHL sees expanded US military ties keeping China aggression at bay

Fight fire with fire. Get some Rottweilers, now that’s aggression.

Two Uighurs deported from Cambodia to China get life

“Get a life” eh?. Must be hardcore Vijay fans.

Australian rescued after boat capsizes

Southeast Asia – region of boat capsizes. Come and get capsized. Jeez, man.

Things are getting better, we are now looking at top World news now.

Rio de Janeiro's infrastructure is questioned after building collapse

As usual, prevention if better after the patient kicked the bucket.. Jeez, man.

65 DEAD IN SYRIA AFTER YESTERDAY'S BRUTAL REPRESSION

No comment.

Sixteen kilograms of cocaine seized at UN

There you go, explains what those buggers been doing.

South Korean Charity Delivers Food to North Korea

Aw, that’s touching. Wonder if arsenic is part of the ingredients.

Now, we move on to the wonderfully dull world of Business news.

IJM and AZRB still awaiting formal letters of award from MRT Corp

Jeez, man. Get a vowel, get a frickin vowel!

Rise in sugar subsidy to ease burden of the people

And kill them with diabetes. Cool.

Cuepacs chief wants more of his officers on remuneration review committee

How do you spell that? Renumer…remine…ramone….

Nokia to expand its smartphone market, plans to overtake RIM

Good to know that you are overtaking Recording Industry of Malaysia.

Samsung Galaxy Note spills its guts

Took two days to clean the mess I heard.

Now the news that I totally don’t give a damn about…Sports.

Australian Open: Madam Meltdown takes major step

Wow, that’s sounds dangerous. Radioactive?

Liverpool v Manchester United: striker Wayne Rooney an injury doubt for FA Cup ...

What kinda headline is that. Is he doubting whether he’d be injured during the match? Or he himself is a doubtable character except the doubt is not strong, just injury. Jeez, man.

Australian Open 2012: Roger Federer stays upbeat despite another grand slam ...

Are they still open?

Pacesetter Rory McIlroy still wary of Tiger Woods

I know, right? The man is probably looking at your wife this instant. Quick.

Okay, now on to the news that I used to give a damn about, Entertainment.

Prosperity toss

How do you toss a goddam prosperity. Put some coins, notes, jewellery in the bowl and toss them. Screw you, news editor.

Michael Jackson's legacy cemented by children

Yeah,the story got something to do with cement. What if they build a statue for him. “Michael Jackson’s legacy erected by…”?

Next on is my favourite these days. Yes, it’s about Science where the headlines scream of innovations, inventions, and wonders of technology that made mankind progress by leaps and bounds and the first headline is…

Canadian teens launch Lego man into space

Oookay….

I’ll not click the “more science stories” part and go to the last section that has nothing to do with me, Health.

Nursery, childcare centre sealed for 21 days

And put in the fridge for freshness. Grouch, you are justifying this post’s title.

France: Ex-head of breast implant firm charged

Why, it was firm, wasn’t it?

Thanks for reading this very lame post. Have a great weekend and don’t forget to donate some goddam Vowels for IJM and AZRB. Jeez, man.

Vettai: Proof that we still need Madhavan whether we suck as audience or not.

In a crucial scene from director Linggusamy’s Vettai, actor Madhavan gets off his wheelchair, stood up with a broken leg and even climbs over a very tall fence to save his brother. It was a very stupid scene. A scene that I would have laughed at, smacked my forehead and blame my nausea for and probably even provoked me to leave the cinema – but Madhavan made me bite my nails.

A get-rich-quick silly commercial fare, Vettai would not have worked if it was not Madhavan playing a cowardly cop, living in the glory of his brother helping to save cases, beating up cops.

Two decades ago, K. Bagyaraj played double role of twin brothers where cowardly cop Bagyaraj was helped by his twin brother and he gets the glory. In Vettai, a character actually mentions the name of the movie “Ragasiya Police”. It was supposed to be a reworking of an abandoned project that MGR did years before.

This time, same story, different actors, bigger budget. No MGR.

Ragasiya Police worked because of funny Bagyaraj. This movie worked because of not only a funny Madhavan, but because he is a good actor, we tend to follow his trials and tribulations of his cowardly character.

This character, Inspector Thirumoorthy, needs Madhavan the actor. Many films needed Rajini and Kamal, but all they got was poor man’s Rajini and sewage cleaner’s Kamal. This role needs someone with very easy sense of humour and who go one step up and give his own take. Madhavan was the man for it, and director Linggusamy was fortunate to have him on board.

I am not saying that it only need Madhavan. As cocky, brave, superheroic brother, Aarya did a fantastic job.I always liked Aarya and even liked his performance in the much loathed Sarvam . There was no need to establish scenes to show how much he loves his brother Madhavan, and people won’t have to suspend their belief to accept both of them as brothers. Aarya has his own niche in humour and is used well here.

In fact, there was more humour quotient that I expected. The girls, played by Sameera Reddy and Amala Paul, gets to be funny thanks to the script. And I have not laughed at Nasser since Avvai Shanmugi as I did here. And I have not laughed at a fight scene other than ones involving Kamal and Rajini, Aarya’s one-liners and puns reminded me of the glory days of Connery/Bond dropping them off after a tense action scene.

Still, without Madhavan, this film will be another Linggusamy’s young bloke against big gangster group story that he keep churning up again and again. Without Madhavan breathing life to a Vadiveloo/Vivek cowardly cop type, I would not have the goose bumps when he comes back and whops ass. Even my baby was stirring in the mother’s womb. Seriously.

Actually it was punching and kicking her, poor wifey. Never mind, Madhavan eased her pain.

Anyway, this is Madhavan, perhaps the most versatile actor of his generation. Put him anywhere, he delivers the good. He has done variety of roles in variety of genre. One thing that gets him ahead of the so-called “stars” of his generation is that he had done a successful horror film.

Yeah, the kind of film I loath. In fact, Yavarum Nalam (13B in Hindi) was a cheap, gimmick-ladden, clichéd Asian horror type of film that I would have laughed off, but got me gripped for Madhavan’s performance alone.

Here’s a message to Tamil filmmakers. Sure, Madhavan got no ambition. He doesn’t want to be the next Kamal (no longer his guru, but, officially, his God) or the next Superstar (dream on you Rajini wannabes), he just. I don’t know. He doesn’t even drink like his character does in Manmadhan Ambu  (a film watchable for him alone….ouch…okay since my wife insist, watchable for Kamal and him) for us to milk a confession from him (Maybe, “I want to be next Prabhu” Okay, Madhavan, two plane seats reservation is expensive).

But please use him. Use him in any film you want and he would fit in and give his best and give some more. This is one of the most clichéd, knuckleheaded masala film that I have watched that I want to watch again because Madhavan and Arya. Especially Madhavan.