PKR Headlines and perceived report.

Oh man, the ruling party-linked press is having a field day with news surrounding Parti Keadilan Rakyat, seeing that it is going to have an election. I typed PKR in google news and boom! Many headlines with first few lines appeared. Too lazy to read the rest, I decided to come up with my own conclusion, as this is how reading news is done anyway these days. The lines in italics are those that appeared with the search result the rest is mine. Here we go:

Zaid riled by baseless allegations in PKR polls campaign

Malaysia Star - ‎

PETALING JAYA: PKR deputy presidential contender Datuk Zaid Ibrahim says the party election campaign is turning dirty with various accusations being hurled ...at him, including that he once dated a goat.

“It’s baseless I tell you,” said Zaid, who is a lifelong vegetarian and was once carrot-juice-holic. “It was an Australian sheep, by the way”.

The paper could not reach PKR’s de facto leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim who is currently in South Pole to discuss his Commonwealth Games with leaders from polar bear community.

PKR to demand apology, retraction of statement from Rahimi

Malaysia Star

KUALA LUMPUR: PKR will send Rahimi Osman a letter of demand for an apology and retraction of statement and expect a reply within a few days, failing which, ...the party will attempt to build the biggest Durian cake ever to make it into the Malaysian Book of Record.

“What Rahimi has done is damaging enough for us to consider various ways to win the hearts and minds of the Rakyat,” said a spokesperson from the party, though he is mute.

The Durian cake will be as big as “a typical Umno politician’s bungalow” and the party’s de facto leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim will not be able to make it for the launch event as he will be in appearing in BBC to talk about the merits of “tempoyak”.

Datuk Dr Lee Chong Meng Quits MCA

Bernama - ‎ ‎

There have been talks that Lee had joined PKR as early as June where he admitted that he had filled in an application form then, but did not sign it. ...as his pen ran out of ink.

“I swear I didn’t know my pen got no ink,” said Lee, adding that the statement should be taken literally, and there was no sexual innuendo in it.

He added that it will be sometimes before he can refill the pen, noting that the incident signifies looming stationery problem in MCA. PKR’s de facto leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim could not be reached for comment as he was using the restroom.

Kottapan Wants Probe Into Chaos At Kota Raja PKR Division Expedited

Bernama –

KLANG, Oct 6 (Bernama) -- One of the candidates for the division chief post in Parti Keadilan Rakyat's (PKR) Kota Raja division, who alleged that he was ...heckled at for having a comical name.

“In Tamizh Kottai means either seeds or testicles. Who are they to judge what my name means,” said Kottapan suffered injuries in one of his middle fingers which he raised in acknowledgement to the heckling during a recent division meet.

According to him, chaos broke up when someone announced that the division was out of Milo in the pantry. The party’s de facto leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim was available for comment but nobody bothered to ask him for comment as the division head declared emergency until the Milo supply arrived.

Chaos if PKR leads, says Umno man

Free Malaysia Today

KUALA LUMPUR: Umno continues to gloat as PKR dismays opposition supporters with its uproarious election process. If PKR were to come to power ...Umno-Man will retaliate with his superpowers which include, basically, telling unconvincing lies.

Umno-Man, once declared that his superpowers are so super that even Superman admitted that no way he can match his brain, brawn and ability to be more stupid (wearing underwear outside).

“Watch out PKR, for Umno-Man is here,” said err…Umno-Man. Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim, PKR’s de facto leader, wasn’t around for comment and was last seen in Justice League of America (JLA) office discussing possibility of JLA running the country with him at helm.

Sabak Bernam Fracas A Lesson To PKR - Khalid

Bernama - ‎Oct 3, 2010‎

KUALA SELANGOR, Oct 3 (Bernama) -- The fracas at Sabak Bernam Parti Keadilan Rakyat (PKR) divisional meeting on Saturday is a good lesson for the party in ...elevating the education level of politicians.

Selangor’s Menteri Besar, Tan Sri Abdul Khalid Ibrahim admitted that none of the party members even know what “fracas” means.

“Some thought it was a coffee item and some even asked if it comes with chocolate and cream,” said the sad looking Menteri Besar. The party’s de facto leader, Anwar Ibrahim finally relented and commented, “Look, even I don’t know what de facto means. It sounds like “dating” in Chinese. Is it?”

The reporter was not available for comment.