Idol Whine

I bet that you guys hate it when a writer starts a sentence like this:

“Normally/usually, I don’t watch/listen/eat/etc ____, but…”

The writer is basically trying to put himself above the readers by saying that, look I got class, but I can compromise on my taste too. What an arrogant prick!

Okay, having had that off my chest, let me state for the record that I normally don’t watch American Idol….Okay, okay, I know what you are thinking, slam me all  you want in the comment later.

Truth is, I still had no intention to watch it this year, my complain being that the show always end up producing generic talents. They all sound like others that you get in the market. It’s like right after you paid for a kg of red snapper in the market, the fishmonger comes running to you, “hey, we just got a fresh one, it just sighed its last breath. Wanna buy?”. No thank you, I’ll take the one I paid for and curse you afterwards.

Okay, I know you are disagreeing saying that they are unique and all. Even, my fiancé, a regular fan since day one (eight seasons now), denied vehemently that the talents are not original. I say that because I’d always wanted to use the word “vehemently”. Nice word.

Anyway, this time around, I sat with her as they were showing the marathon compilation of the auditioning which was good sick sadistic fun as we see folks who are in serious denial about their talent getting trashed by the Idol judges, especially the delightfully frank Simon Cowell.

Then, he appeared. Complete with eyeliners, glam/punk-ish hairdo belting out Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody like nobody before. I liked Adam Lambert there and then, as I did with few more other talents. Then, the competition rounds came and that man blew me away.

It was like seeing reincarnation of Elvis Presley and Freddie Mercury. His vocal range is outrageous, and I mean it in good way. He is like a frickin Humvee or something that can scale a mountain and can still scour your neighbourhood.  Whether he is hitting high note or low, his emotional response was to the song, not to the strain of having to hit those notes, as the other competitors did. Plus I’d never heard a voice like this before, such was the originality.

Add that to the sense of theatricality, Lamberts costume and make up changes each week, whether it’s the leatherworks for belting out a rock number or cool suit and tie crooning a Rat Pack tune. Cowell complained about his final performance rendition of Tears For Fears’ Mad World, as “over theatrical”, and I thought that was what Lambert was all about. He is supposed to be theatrical as we saw week after week.

On top of that, he was oozing with charisma and strong presence. When was the last time we saw a talent like this. The last time I was excited about a talent was probably in the mid-90s when Russell Crowe snarled and broke a chair and I was, like, going, “Brando’s alive!” (he was then, just that Brando the actor was dead long time ago).

His talent was so huge that the largely conservative US (yes they are, look at how they are handling the gay marriage thing) did not vote for him in the final and voted for mildly talented, generic vocalist Kris Allen.

Immediately all sorts of conspiracy theory abounded. Some say that his sexuality (possibly gay. So what? So was Freddie) frightened them. Some say, it’s because most voters come from Red (read red-necks) state. It could be because he is Jew. Then, New York Times revealed that the Telco, AT&T, could be behind it having had provided free text messaging services at parties held by Kris Allen fans. And soon, I will not be surprised to read that the Aliens from Planet 9 are behind it. That’s enough stuff for the next Dan Brown novel.

Anyway, my point is, finally we got ourselves a genuine, original talent. There are already excitements in the air about what his debut album is going to be like. Or whether, as us fanboys fantasised, he would tour with Queen. Yup, Brian May, that genius guitarist, did say that he and the drummer, Roger Taylor, wants to have a “meaningful conversation” with Lambert, which is not surprising seeing that the band had to put up with dull (in comparison with the colourful flamboyant Freddie, I mean) Paul Rodgers. It’s time Queen put glamour back to the band.

Whatever Lambert is planning to do, I’d be among the millions waiting to buy his album. Admit it; he is the Scaramouche who can do the Fandango.