2022: The Year of Diarrhea

 

This is my long awaited sequel to the 2009 and 2008 review I wrote back then. Compared to last two years, those two years were like time spent at a monastery.

In all fairness, getting by 2021 and hopping into 2022 was not exactly like from pot into the fire… no. It was like missing the flame, but getting right down to the coal, getting raked left right till you are not even edible to a T-Rex.

Despite the fact that T-Rex will resist you as pièce de résistance, for having a more refined taste, ...but then, even the great Extinct One would be glad that it didn’t stick around for the stinkaroo that was 2022. Seriously, it was a shitty year in which the only momentary reprieve was when Will Smith smacked Chris Rock and was talked about in the media in the same manner as they would when Hitler invaded Poland.

Speaking of which, right in the beginning of the year, Russia invaded Ukraine. It was not an incursion, or a mild mosquito-esque bite on some small village. It was a goddamned invasion. And the world sat and posted stuff about it, about the human rights, about how unfair life is on Ukraine and how Putin is a shitbag. More than 50 million Ukrainian civilians were killed… but don’t forget to wear a mask.

Because Covid didn’t end in 2021. Nosireebob. The year ended, but Covid signed an extension contract with the devil (played by John Malkovich) and continued to party all year around. This writer got infected briefly. The experience, shall I say, was confusing. I was expecting an ‘Excorcist Linda Blair’ like reaction, but all I got was mild fever, a bit of body ache and some shits. What a bummer.

Yet, 2022 had its own roller coaster ride and calm boat ride. This year, finally Anwar Ibrahim realized his and his followers’ dream of finally become the prime minister of the country – after a rather relaxed voting process. The amount of yelling, cursing and Facebook banning would make you think that Malaysian voters are rabid political beasts who would bite live electric wire to prove a point. Come the actual time to go out there and doin’ dat thang, they were all just regular blokes and gals. Some even said good morning.

The win by Pakatan Harapan made “I told you so” as the most used expression in the country, and everyone was excited including Barisan Nasional who, for years hating DAP decided to join force because… no, not because they want to share power. Of course, not. They want to help us, the people. Yeah. Does that sound convincing? How if I tell you that fish can ride a bicycle? Yeah, that’s more convincing.

Then, there’s the case involving our former prime minister Najib Tun Razak. Those who despised him were happy with the sentencing handed out. But then, there are those who thinks something is not right. There’s something rotten in the state of KL. There is no point going deep into it, as everyone should enjoy the honeymoon phase with their favourite idol as the prime minister. The shit is only halfway to the fan.

Speaking of “interesting” leadership, Twitter agreed to sell itself to Elon Musk. Seriously, that’s what most of the medias say. I am not saying that Twitter has since become like a gigolo or something. But there is certainly some element of someone wanting to use something for their own perverted pleasure thing going on there.             

In May, the United States of America made the news when their president said something stupid. Oh, who am I kidding. That happens all the time. No, the news is tragic…that is when 19 children and two teachers were killed when an 18 years old opened fire in a classroom at an….

….elementary school. I know we were all shocked by it, then we moved on like deciding what’s for lunch. But let that sink again. Also, dig this: US has had at least 604 mass shootings so far in 2022 and this news came out in November. That is bigger number than their 116 Olympic medals won last year.

And we continue to take the sons of bitches from that country seriously. That’s a child murdering nation, with presidents who immediately assume the role of homicidal maniacs killing people inside and mostly, outside of the country. And there are Malaysians who are just too eager to carry the goddamned Eagle nation’s balls, and with the members of the new government - now that all of the main knuckleheads have joined forces – are now going to be ready to offer their organic boot cleaning services for a fistful of dollars. We’re gonna get sprayed with pure American holy pee soon.

There are plenty of losses this year. Among the celebrities listed here by a UK media Olivia Newton-John Robbie Coltrane, Olivia Newton-John, Taylor Hawkins, Dame Deborah James, Dame Angela Lansbury, Vivienne Westwood, and Queen Elizabeth II. Yes, the latter is listed as a celebrity.

Now, the Brits have a king after more than seven goddamned decades. We have King Charles over there, and, queen Camille. But history will mostly remember them for the tampon thing.

We also had World Cup. For the first time since 1982, I never watched a single game. Speaking of the game, we lost Pele – the greatest ever footballer, who sprinkled so much magic to the game that I dare say that in developing world, he was bigger than whoever or whatever's being worship.

2022 has now come to an end. The Covid cases has gone down – but let’s face it, it was devastating. This is what I got off the net:

Malaysia cases

Updated 30 Dec, 2022

Confirmed cases: 5,025,581

Deaths:  36,851

Global cases

Confirmed cases: 658,820,443

Deaths: 6,684,285

The entire year was ruled by a tiny virus, not a new king or prime minister. A tiny goddamned virus. We can only hope that the next year would be better as we do every year. 

Since the last several years had been progressively worst, I am reminded of an old Tamil movie comedy. This dude played by Nagesh tells another dude, Neelu, about the visit to an astrologer.

Nagesh: The astrologer said, only until I am fifty would I go through difficulties, suffer like a dog

Nilu: After 50?

Nagesh: I will get used to it.

Happy New Year everyone…. Keep the mask on. The…other mask, I mean.

Naai Sekhar (2022)

Note: Expectedly dull and dumb, but worth for Anandharaj’s hillarious turn as frustrated baddy. Also, the end song, an apt rap by Vadivelu himself, with dance choreographed by Prabhu Deva.

The film begins by thanking meme creators. There’s a necessity for that. Vadivelu has been making comebacks like burnout rock stars surviving on nostalgia and “Best Of” collection sales.

Vadivelu is now on second lease (pun…see movie titles) of his career comeback. The first time after he ran out of favour with cinema audience, the repeated showcasing of his earlier comedy scenes found new batch of audience and he made a film being the lead.

Then, it’s the memes…if you have social media friends who do watch Tamil films, you can’t run away from those memes with Vadivelu in it.

Be as it may, Vadivelu needs good writers. After his split from his writing partner Singgamuthu, his art (whatever it is) suffered so much so that  he couldn’t even compete with the lesser comics now filling his market stall.

The industry that’s prone to self congratulations at the drop of a hat, with almost a century of experience behind it is bereft of good scriptwriters, let alone ones who could deal with comedy. The last time there was a good full length comedy feature was 23am Pulikesi which benefited from a very good original source (cartoon strip in magazine). 

It has not been so since in few Vadivelu starrers.

With a limited comic talent Vadivelu relied heavily on slapsticks and self deprecation for laughs, while occasionally dishing out able dramatic performances. But his bag of trick is limited, and a comics expiry date on big screen is just as limited.

Here's another opportunity to make use of Vadivelu by the filmmakers and Vadivelu himself to tap on the fans still remembering him through the incessant (often unfunny) memes.

But the film is only slightly funnier than the crass soapwater shit being passed off as comedy on TV and social media. It didn’t even push Vadivelu into a newer direction which 24am Pulikesi did.

Those still nostalgic about the “great era” would sit through this out of respect and in hope that there’ll be some sort of redemption somewhere. Otherwise the film is a sketch piece but stretched a bit too far.

Also you know shit is not working when you hafta insert that Goundamani/Senthil Karagattakaran theme. In a Vadivelu flick. There’s hardly an originally hilarious moment, just recaps, recalls from his earlier flicks.

Still, the solace comes in form of the flick’s baddy Anandharaj. His desperation, frustrations especially with his inept henchmen who later has to adjust to them who has to do regular jobs to support themselves. That by itself would have been a wonderful subject to explore with Anandharaj himself as big time gangster dealing with labour issues, and latter's health after his bits get shot. He’s the funniest here.

But they’ll stretch that thin too. Sad that Vadivelu’s comeback pitch keeps fizzling out. Time for him to take a bow or continue with character roles. He’s better as a second lead at least.

#rakeshmovietalk