Ennai Nokki Paayum Thotta

Both Manirathnam and Gautham Menon has this issue when it comes to their serious…very serious films, they don’t go deep enough, or, as a good friend of mine, Joe Milton would say, just “grazing the grass” (better said in Tamizh, “nunippul meythal”).

But here, those mere sampling in collection would have happened if the director had not made the right decision of casting Dhanush in the lead as a young man in the middle of a muddle, ridding the pests that are creating the mess, I may say so.

From the word “go” Dhanush throws himself to the role of a bloke madly in love with a novice actress, getting mutual about it, and then, face the wrath of the actress guardian who may have been abusing her (Gautham must have taken the later sub-plot from Iruvar…but then, what “sub-plot” when it is a norm in the industry)

While the director is busy trying to his best the make the scenes look as gritty as possible at this side of Tarantino, Dhanush looks like he walked out of the film you like into the film you like better only the canvass is not what you wanted. Or, what I wanted.

Gautham’s films, at many times, ran the gamut between truly exciting thrillers (Kakka Kakka), to flipside romances (MinnalE, Vinnai Thandi Varuvaya), and somewhere in between. His action sequences are not terrifically exciting and they are not cheapskate gymnastic events either. He knows about holding guns stylishly according to Hollywood and seem to have firm grip in shooting shootouts. But other than that, I have a hard time convincing myself that he is the next Manirathnam, mainly because I am not even fully taken by Mani myself.

Anyway, back to this film. The biggest issue I have is the flashbacks. A Tamil film is not a Tamil film without flashbacks, it’s a given. It’s an easy narrative tool to help the audience with the understanding if the plot gets murky…but then, most plots are as clear as of the counter aquarium so, they shouldn’t be an issue.

But never since Pulp Fiction (1994) have I seen timeline being reworked in the narrative line like this film…it goes front and back so often I felt like Marcus Brody in Egyptian market (Indy Jones fans know what I am talking about). Flashbacks are good device, for narrative clarity purposes…and also for the style, but too many is too much.

Perhaps it is because of that, that the flashback is centred on the protagonist’s feelings, reactions and weighing the emotional core of the scenes, we don’t feel much for other characters…they are just scissored fortified papers.

And so, my verdict? It gets interesting second half onwards when the thriller element kicks in, but still, the mentioned murkiness keeps us less glued to the seat, let alone, send you to the edge of your seat.

Only Dhanush manages to get our attention during each scene. Yes, he gets to kick butt… but the most pleasant surprise is Sasikumar. Playing a cop, and Dhanush brother, with the “key” to exposing bad guys, he appears in few important scenes and is the actual backbone of the films. He brings comfort to the otherwise tense scenes, except, of course, Dhanush is the protagonist and there are usually no rooms in Tamizh films for two strong leading men…er…hum….

Then, the question of Dhanush kicking butts….It has never been established that he knows how to kick butt…but as all long-suffering Tamil film fans have learned the last sixty years or so, when a hero suddenly becomes butt-kicking superhero…just shut up and enjoy our butts off.

On the audio side, as usual as with most of the current Tamil films, the music never quite registered, and songs appeared at most inappropriate moment, for me (especially the last romantic one, out of nowhere, right in the middle of a very tensed, stressed-out situation), but hey, Tamil film, right?'

I am not much of a fan of Gautham to rank this amidst his other “magnum opuses” but fans of Dhanush can definitely carry this high up on their shoulders for the man has proved to be quite an asset. He can really make the messiest meal taste delicious.  This is not a messy meal if it has been for the fact that before you take a mouthful someone is talking about how each potion was cooked in detail. Sheesh….

Charlie's Angels (2019)

Oh, …everyone knows Charlie’s Angels. That would span three generations to be exact, and perhaps now, the fourth. The boomers introduced it in the TV and the Gen Xers took it to the big screen, and the next two generations have knowledge about it thanks to the stars who shined into the millennium (Diaz, Liu, and my then crush, Drew Barrymore)

.

Personally, I have fond memories of the TV series that were broadcasted here in Malaysia in the early 80s. My late cousin sister assigned one of the Angels to us brothers…sort of TV girlfriend, and I got Jaclyn Smith…I don’t know why. And she makes a cameo appearance here as Kelly Garret, the original Angel, as she did in the first film reincarnation.

We liked the series…every day there was an adventure, beginning with instruction from Charlie from phone speaker, and the girls go on kicking butt. The first film remade overdid the butt-kicking, and I didn’t enjoy it…I didn’t like the cast, except my then crush, Drew Barrymore…sigh…

Anyway, how did this one fare? Oh heck, …it was fun. There were some dull moments here and there, but the film really has a pace to sustain our interest. I sort of didn’t pay attention to the plot but dammit, there are lots of thinking done in this version…as it should considering the original TV series butt-kicking were very limited, and, well, it was just a figure of speech anyway.

Here, the characters mesh well, with Kristen Stewart playing against type (this is redundant, all actors are supposed to be playing against type) and the director of this film, Elizabeth Banks, playing the more mature, and sort-of boss for the two girls (in addition to Stewart, we get Ella Ballinska, the most butt-kickingest of the two, in my opinion).

Amidst it all is the central character around whom plot revolves, Naomi Scott (the Jasmine of the live-action Alladin), who is a real delight in this film. She really livens up any scene she is in, and seriously worth the money you spend on this otherwise what could have been by the number action flick.

Banks directed this with only a slight hint of feminism outpouring in the script. Sure, male-bashing is essential to get these girls a step higher in the hierarchy, and frankly, the guys deserve it. The camaraderie between the gals are admirable, sometimes bordering on…you know…

But leave all those analysing aside, and what we have is a fun flick filled with grounded action scenes that prefers wit than speed. If you are with the girls, you will really enjoy it. Plus, we also have Patrick Stewart, hamming it up as their boss (there’re many Bosleys…you have to watch it to understand the whole point).

What I really liked about this is, that it established the fact that the agency is one, but the girls are different from the time of my beloved Jaclyn Smith. We get to see portraits of the earlier gals and so whatever fault or criticism you have previously, you will forgive them because they are different folks.

And so, I liked it to a certain extent, because I never quite liked the earlier big-screen adaptation. To tell you the truth, I’d rather watch this and its sequel than the Mission: Impossible films, the universe in which Angels seemed to be functioning. The grounded Angels team wins me anytime, compared to Supercruise.

Addams Family (2019)

Most of our memory of Adams Family consists of wonderful performances by Raul Julia, Anjelica Houston, and of course, the unforgettable Christina Ricci. I have watched the first feature film aeons ago and I don’t quite appreciate it back then when I was discovering the likes of Scorcese and Coppola in the 90s. I avoided them like a plague.

Not that I am a snob..come one, I relished Austin Powers and both sequels, I have taste like a hobo and am proud of it. It’s just that a comedy about a ghoulish family just didn’t appeal to me.

What drew me to this film? Well, there are not much high profile flicks playing now bar the ones I have seen and wrote about previously in this blog. Plus, I was curious…how are they going to pull it off in animation.

Well, for one, the animation worked beautifully. Giving the character the abovementioned “ghoul”ish look but with more crowd-friendly demeanour worked. The characters are all a delight to watch on big screen.

As to the overall production quality…let’s just say that Hollywood will always keep outdoing themselves each time when the budget permits…they must have learned from the Christopher Reever Superman films, which, by the fourth film was shot with the producer’s kids piggy bank.

Anyway, coming back to this flick…all I can say is, it is a delight to watch. There’s something (Tim) Burton-esque about these films, aided by his composing partner Danny Elfman (Elfmanesque?... sounds like an Elk puking, no?) giving that delightful gothic sound in almost all their collaboration no matter how far away the films are removed from darkness.

Here, everything is in place. The characters look how they should, the scenes plays out as how we would expect them to play out. Yes, there seemed to be some sort of emptiness in the canvas.

The story is nothing new: the odd family moves into a neighbourhood of “normal” folks and they are not happy about it, led by a Internal Design TV star. There are brushes, skirmishes, and lesson learned: normal or not, why can’t we just get along.

I liked the journey…but when I look back, I felt there could have been more. One thing I found amusing though, that is the use of social media. Here’s online critic James Berardinelli explaining it: “When (the interior designer celebrity ) efforts fail to convince the Addams’ to brighten things up, she opts for another approach – one that uses social media to smear the family and raise the spectre of the modern equivalent of pitchforks

.”

That statement woke me up. Scenes are plenty where mobs do the mobbing carrying hordes of mobile phones, taking pictures and texting. This is the future of media, folks, and it is here to stay. And that is the most “horrific” element in this otherwise quiet, comedic animation.

There will definitely be a sequel, and I might like it then…and so by then, I am going to bury this in my memory bank. Though I might add that the best performance in the film was given by a severe hand. Now, that might be something after all…

Ford V. Ferfari (2019)

I am not a huge fan of sports or related film, where there are extended scenes on the games or races. You know that the good guys will win…or if they are aiming for the awards, lose. Some films are metaphors of some greater philosophies, like the assurance that you are never small and can take on the Goliath.

Or that, it's okay to lose, its the effort and ambition that matters. Or the underdogs…they will come out as big dogs at the end, so on and so forth.

This film fits in either any of those categories or none if you are interested in taking on an alternative platform. I clearly see this film as the filmmakers throwing a bag filled with faeces right at the studios and big producers.

Because, it is what it is…moneyman, and power guardians harassing the talents to dance to their tune, as we see the legendary Ford (the second, the opposite fraction stresses that) harassing Matt Damon’s designer Carrol Shelby to get Christian Bale hotshot driver, Ken Miles, pushed around according to their whims and fancies…with reasons of course…and we are talking about huge business rivalry here where a racing circuit determines sales of automobiles.

The first half of the films moves slowly…too slowly, the setting up really takes time, but thanks to the performance by the two leads, we do not get overly bored. Then, the racings happen and yes, the film shifts gear if I may be allowed to say so.

The race scenes are tame…after watching the likes of Bullit, French Connection and Ronin, where chase matters, here the race bores me to sleep. I almost slept off during some of the supposed intense scenes. I haven’t watched any of the Fast and The Furious flicks, which I believe would have made me Rip Van Winkle.

But what matters are the performances. The leads are impressive, of course, and they should…they have nominations and awards between them. But I absolutely adored Catriona Balfe, who plays Shelby’s wife. She tries to be understanding, while also confrontative where it's necessary.

And I loved that one scene, where she just plays a bored spectator of brawling involving her husband and Miles. It was the funniest scene in the movie where we learn more about the relationship between these characters.

There are many other standoff scenes involving the money men and the talent, but they quickly move on to more mundane scenes. Much of it could have been cropped to make the film crisper. In his excellent review  James Berardinelli notes, “We have reached a point in film evolution where the “Extended DVD Director’s Cut” has become the theatrical release”.

This film is clearly released during the award season and is naturally going to get some recognition, notably for the performances of its two leads, and hopefully one for the gal also. The cinematography will also be getting some attention, especially those with short memories.

But what disturbed me more was the individual talent vs team player issue. At some point, we are applauding and urging Bale’s character on, and in another moment we are conflicted as he was not allowed to shine to let the team win, because, well…at the end of the day, its all about selling the goddam cars, isn’t it?

As such, I didn’t have much too strong feeling about this film. It had its moments, but it also misses something that the good performances could not patch up.

And so, here’s another based on true story film that tries too hard to be dramatic, but end up offering good performances on screen and yet, still leaving audience like me unimpressed. Let us see what happens when they start the self-congratulating award ceremonies…

Sanga Tamizhan (2019)

I was not at all familiar with Vijay Sethupathi’s work before Naduvula Konjam Pakkatta Kanom. The film happened to me, nobody recommended or anything. I was astounded by the performance of its lead. It was a supposedly one-note role…a guy with amnesia and he has the same line over and over again.

But Vijay Sethupathi nailed the role with the precision of a seasoned performer. Just “Enna Achu” (what happened?) had us laughing our ass off while, at the same time, either pitying him or plain just getting annoyed. The performance was tour de force and I had never seen anything like that in Tamil films for a long time, and neither had I ever have seen anything like it (in amnesia, with the same dialogue throughout the entire goddam film). It’s a one-off brilliant stuff that only the gems of the industry (Nadigar Thilagam Sivaji Ganesan, Kamal Haasan and Rajinikanth, in my book) can pull off now and then. The most recent I witnessed was the over-the-top delicious performance by Madhavan in Thambi.

I short, it's not the usual cup of Tamil film coffee.

Since, then, I have been following Vijay Sethupathi’s career as much as possible and found him to be greatly engaging. In fact, I would downright come out and tell you guys straight that he actually reminded me of an actor in his early years. An actor who had long since shed off the brilliant actor skin and has since donned the Superstar coat.

Yes, Vijay Sethupathi reminded me of the early Rajini who blazed through our screens coming up with the unconventional performance at the era when MGR retired from cinema and Sivaji Ganesan was just going through the motions with no filmmakers challenging him.

Kamal is a method actor by all means. He works on the framework and works hard. He builds the foundation and stands solid to give us one brilliant performance after another. Rajini, on the other hand, is an instinctual actor. He is like a Bedouin, making home goddam where he pleases, no foundation, no framework. Just pitch the tent, entertain us and move on. And when he does that, he enthrals us.

Kamal is a sniper, chooses his target and hits them sharp. Rajini is a machine gun-wielding commando…he just shoots, at times he gets his target and most of the time, there are just wasted bullets.

Vijay Sethupathi is closer to Rajini in that aspect. He doesn’t seem to prepare much for the roles he is playing which are mostly down to earth and as grounded as possible. And he just shoots from the hip as much as possible hitting us targets in the process, some bullets wasted notwithstanding.

And he shines in almost all the roles he is in, as did Rajini where even the stupidest movie he did, we watch it at least to see him come up with magic. Vijay Sethupathi does just that and “that” was most useful in this film.

On the surface, this is just another recycled solo guy against corrupt politicians, greedy businessman story that was dime a dozen for the last few decades. But Vijay Sethupathi sat on it creating his own throne as the king of this film, no matter what the contributions from his co-stars or the technicians are.

It is such a delight to watch him making even the smallest gesture seem so entertaining, the gift which I hope will not diminish as it did to Rajini for sometimes before Shankar shook him up twelve years ago.

Here, he just stands against the bad guys, has fun with the heroines and the family members. And they are good enough to sit through when you are bored with the bad guys…all faceless creatures that would fit in any commercial “mass” flicks.

You will not be able to take your eyes off Mr Sethupathi. Like the Rajini of the early days and of late, he moves in his own speed regardless of the film's pace and packs a wallop as a ball of energy that lights up the screen each time he is on it. Not to mention an asset that not many, even the so-called "mass heroes" posses, an easy sense of humour that doesn't need too much pushing and shoving down our throat. Rajini had that (watch the somewhat sober Anbukku NAn Adimai, where Rajini was hilarious without any funny lines fed to him). Vijay Sethupathi was funnier than Suri, the prerequisite comedic sidekick.

I would recommend this film only for him…nothing else, or anyone else, including and especially the supposed comedian Suri (a subject that gets teased…not sure if it was intentional…in the film). Vijay Sethupathi carries the film on his shoulder and delivers it to us and we appreciate him for just being in it. It was worth the ticket we….or at least, I paid for.

There will be an accusation that he is trying to enter the Vijay/Ajith territory, the "mass hero" crumples. Nope, this is just him flexing his versatility muscle. there more where the stock comes from...watch out...he is the next big goddam thing in the industry.

Doctor Sleep (2019)

The Shining was a heck of a film, and if you haven’t seen it…I won’t say shame on you. Because, I watched it much later when it was available on VCD, then, DVD. It’s brilliant because of the mesmerising way the awesome, perhaps the greatest Hollywood director ever, Stanley Kubrick shot it.

Rebecca Ferguson...wowie zowie...I want....

You do not need to know the story. I felt it was not the point…Kubrick’s films are always about visual and aural experience that’s out of the world (I have not watched his films prior to Dr. Stangelove, so you may cut me some slack). Beginning with the Cold War film, to 2001, Clockwork Orange, Barry Lyndon and The Shining, Kubrick splashed us with moody colours, meditative scenes, and roller-coaster of intellectual ride. Unlike many of the European contemporaries of his, he was never pretentious…it may seem that his presentations seem prefer artistic denomination for reward, but the rich emotional experience he offers is perfect for any ordinary film audience. Kubrick is a force to be reckoned with…just ask Spielberg, Scorcese, de Palma or even Coppola.

Now, this film is too ambitious when it tries too hard to please both fans of Kubrick, and Stephen King, whose work this film is based on. As most film fans know, King never liked Kubrick’s version and had worked on his favourable treatment that was worked on for TV…that probably sold few DVDs and never overshadowed Kubrick’s version.

And so, the director of this film seemed to be trying hard not to move away from Kubrick (which he succeeded in somewhat identical shots, and many reworked flashbacks), and at the same time, stayed with King’s supernatural inclinations.

I, for one, had, for the most of the time, no idea what was going on, despite the fact that I fairly understood and truly loved The Shining. But that didn’t bother me all that much. The film is beautifully shot, at times dangerously mimicking Kubrick. But the folks kbehind this film truly respected what Kubrick was trying to say visually, while at the same time corroborated the hunger of horror film fans.

While Ewan MacGregor was engaging in his role as Danny Torrance (the kid in the tricycle that goes on and on and on…), it was Rebecca Ferguson as Rose the Hat that caught my attention. She was hot, no doubt, but she was pleasing to the senses, I don’t know which. Seductive, mysterious and absolutely delight to watch, she stole the show left, right and centre. To me at least. I want to just keep looking at her and you know what…that mesmerism is the point of her role in the film. She nailed it. I can’t remember when was the last time I ever praised a performance by a Hollywood actress…but I will not forget this one.

Anyway, did I like the film? Yes and no.

Apparently King was pleased with this version of his story. Boy, am I glad Kubrick did not try to please King in the original. These are two different platforms and I have come to my realisation these days that they are never, ever going to make a Fleming’s James Bond film. But that’s a story for another day.

This one is a midway job, all round pleasing job, though I very much doubt that it will be a classic ala The Shining. Despite the appearance of the look alike to fill the flashback and fantasy sequences, the absence of Jack Nicholson is really felt here. He was the most terrifying thing in the first film. He was the horror. Without Jack, there’s some sort of emptiness if you want to link this to The Shining, as I did. Otherwise, its an okay flick of its genre…whatever genre it belongs to.

But I walked away only remembering Rebecca Ferguson...Rose the Hat...oh, please come and doctor my sleep.....

Midway (2019): Bye Bye Japan, Welcome China

Ever since China opened up, Hollywood was one of the first to carry its food tray lining up at the door. Strings of films were made to impress them, either featuring err…Asian actors

or just shameless try to portray China in a positive light.

This site has this to say:

With China accounting for nearly a third of the total US$576 million box office taking of this year’s smash hit Avengers: Endgame, it’s easy to understand why Hollywood is eager to tap into the country’s massive and lucrative film market. At the same time, Chinese companies are also increasingly sinking fortunes behind the scenes into American blockbusters.

Hollywood flicks are just too eager to welcome Chinese production houses to sink in their fortune to take a big cut from the worldwide profit, provided they have onscreen participation too.

That explains China’s presence as investors in this film, as well as being shown in a positive light on the screen. Does it affect the film?

I don’t know, the political history of the World War 2 is too huge for me to comprehend except we are told and believe that Germans and the Japanese are the bad guys and they must be killed. Sure, their atrocities are not to be trifled with, questioned, with ample of evidence too strong to be buried. I have no issue in seeing them as bad guys in films…Nazis especially are easy target for the politically correct Hollywood especially in these days of Al Qaeda and ISIS.

Now, about this film.

When I was a kid, watching war films has always been about rooting for America…even if the film in Battle of Britain. Even when watching western (we call it cowboy movies) we would root for the white guys.

But Hollywood did some serious revision on those genres. Oliver Stone did few films and showed us in Platoon that War is hell, stupid and pointed out that mostly when a soldier is hit, his body parts get blown off, instead of him just getting shot, saying few last words and slump forward...

Meanwhile, the cowboy genre gets a revision of its own through its champion, Clint Eastwood, who having had glorified gun-totting cowboys in the past, decided to tear down the myth and pointed out that they are just another bunch of disgusting killers in Unforgiven.

One of my favourite war films is Mister Roberts, starring James Cagney, Henry Fonda and Jack Lemmon which is a war film about a ship that is NOT in the middle of the war. The war was boredom. I loved it, especially Cagney’s hilarious no-nonsense character and Lemmon’s goofy antics, and the middle of it all, Fonda constantly holding all together.  Their boredom. Our fun.

Here, boredom was the film. I even slept through some shooting and explosions, for crying out loud. I can vaguely figure out what was happening, and all I know was this, the film hates Japan but loves China.

You see, times are a-changing. China is now poised to be US’ strongest ally, or so thinks US. The Yanks are trying too hard to court the Chinese and the girl is playing hard to get. It’s all too visible for us to see especially when you see how hard Hollywood is trying to please China.

You can clearly see it here, where American films adjust themselves or do last-minute fittings to please the Chinese crowd. Artistic integrity had always gone down the drain in Hollywood, now its going to the sewage.

No wonder great filmmakers are incensed with the comic book movies, which are, and its no secret, directed straight to non-American market (read: China and its population). This film is doing just that, get China’s attention because, hey, the bad guys are Japanese and there are some Chinese cast members in it.

All these years of mollycoddling Japan, the world’s love for their electronic products seem to be running out of steam. It’s China’s turn now and they are proving to be fierce competitors among others.

All these seem to be reflecting in Hollywood’s close co-operation with China and a Chinese company agreed to finance one-fifth of the US$ 100 million budget for the film. Thus, the light shining on the Chinese military during the conflict.

Unfortunately, from the entertainment point of view. the film fails big time in at least getting my attention. I read that venerable film critic, Peter Travers of Rolling Stones labelled this film “a hollow shell stuffed with marshmallow”.

That’s exactly how I felt, hollow bamboo filled with scraps of cooked meat. Nothing more, nothing less. The film will not go down, at least in my book, as notable as far as the genre is concerned. But time would tell.

Only thing I liked about the experience of watching this film is the short naps I had amidst all that shooting and explosion…after a bout with dengue and sleepless nights, I needed that.

Kamal Haasan: The Ride

Well, it is a well-known fact that Kamal Haasan is a heck of an actor. Say that he is not, not only will the fans make an enemy out of you, with proper prodding Kamal himself will gleefully point out the awards that he won (in one YouTube video, we see his award lined up by the window, they way you line up toy soldiers…it’s that casual, and that many…he has a battalion of award trophies and plaques, end of story).

What makes Kamal as an actor so arresting to the Tamil film watching public’s eyes is not so much his appearances, many of which involving various statuses of his facial hair, not his good looks (he was Kathal Ilavarasan, prince of love remember.  It was quite a ride with him, and we all went along with it.

Despite growing up as a hardcore Kamal Haasan fan, only mellowing when I become hardcore fan of Sivaji Ganesan instead, I was left in the wilderness somewhere between Hey Ram and post Alavandhan recoiling. I was somewhat angry with him.

Hey Ram was a great technical achievement. But I couldn’t relate to the film. We always want to be with him for a ride wherever he goes. But with Hey Ram, I felt that he was hanging around with the crowd, in a place that I rather not be with or in. I felt like Superman watching the awesomeness of Kryptonite.

I stayed away and became vary of what he was going to do next.

Thankfully, some comedies softened me up and I was back as a fan, except the Dasavatharam fiasco (for me, because I just couldn’t dig the latex) that felt like he was trying too hard to be Peter Sellers. The trouble is, as much as Sellers was an awesome star (his radio work is more powerful, trust me), Kamal Haasan was in a completely different league. Kamal was indeed a mix and match of Chaplin, Sellers, Brando, de Niro, and Montgomery Clift, to a certain extent.

I would like to bring your attention to the latter. I only discovered him rather later, and I was surprised how much his performance resembled Kamal’s own during his early years before he started doing Jackie Chan from ToonggathE Thambi Toonggathe. Clift was a sensitive new age man way before there was new age and guys ever got sensitive.

And so was Kamal. Witness the films he did with K. Balachander, climaxing with NinaittAlE Inikkum. And later, we get to see glimpses of it in the likes of Vazhvey Mayam, Kathal Parisu, portions of Nayagan, and (full-fledge) in Guna, perhaps the most powerful romantic film ever in Tamil film industry and features my favourite Kamal Haasan performance.

He has the ability to truly get into our skin with his soulful eyes, with the Chaplin-esque “eyebrows raised towards the centre” puppy-dog look melted our heart and soul. When he smiles, we delight in it…when he cries, brother, get that entire Kleenex box on standby mode, please.

Sure, Sivaji Ganesan can take you on an emotional roller-coaster ride, as do his rightful successor in terms of physical presence, Rajinikanth. But Kamal’s emotion can enlighten you, engage you, engross and fervently traumatise. By the end of some very winning films he had done, you are drained emotionally. In the very early 80s Deepavali, at a small-town theatre, my brothers and I sobbed uncontrollably after watching Vazhvey Mayam. And as an adult, when properly fuelled during my alcoholic days, I would cry a bucket, almost literally watching the ending of Guna, any part of Nayagan, most of Sippikkul Muthu…and even the Neelavanam song in the insipid Manmathu Anbu drew tears out of my eyes.

The latter actually has nothing to do with the film itself. I suddenly felt vary that he was singing the song to us, the fans. It was a love song for us, telling us that time is passing by and we are not getting any younger. I know that this has nothing to do with the lyrics, but that is the message I get out of that song. There is a goodbye in it, though actual goodbye is not going to happen in decades.

But it somewhat told me that Kamal is now entering an entirely different phase. The glory that was the Kamal Haasan post Kalattoor Kannama till then was over. We saw glimpses of the genius filmmaker Kamal throughout the journey. We are now going to see it in full, in completeness that it may not be what we had hoped.

As I mentioned in my other articles, Kamal is not a fan’s star. As much as Rajinikanth is a very powerful actor, he still caters to the audience. Kamal runs his own race. You like it or you loath it. If the product is bad, most loyal fans swallow it and wash it down with water. In my case, I just feel bitter about it till he comes out with a better product.

Yes, I always forget…he is not a fan’s star. He is not even a director’s actor…his interference, whether they worked, friendly, co-operative or not, is legendary. He writes his own rules, and we are to accept it. There’s an auteur in him, but he knows well that he is not going to run away with what he has and what he can pull out of thin air. And we may or not like it.

This what makes my on, off and on-again fan relationship with him so intriguing. He was my first love as a cinema star. I may have moved on and call Clint Eastwood as my Talaivar, but Kamal was there first…ever since I was smitten by his performance as Kalyanam and Raman back when I was even too young to remember the film.

My love for him and his performance is firmly rooted in my adolescent years, and the only time it will perish is when I do. Till then, I am going to continue to enjoy my on and off relationship with him. That what makes my fandom of his very special, and different from other stars I admire and adore…it has proprietorship in it. We feel we own him, and he feels he doesn’t owe us. In between is his artistic struggle and the pain that comes out of it what makes his body of work intriguing…and we will never fall out of love with him.

Happy belated birthday Kamal Haasan ji. Oh…we love you so, so much no matter what!