Oscar: Yearning the Crystal Years.

Yet, another gripe from a grouchy old man. Yes, I hated the Oscar show this year, and knowing well I would do considering the hosts are young actors, James Franco and Anne Hathaway. Don’t tell me watch it next year, as I am sure they are fielding Justin Bieber and Miley Cirus or is it Hannah Montana. Mily Montana? Whatever.

For many years, I’d stay home and watch the show. Whether using my annual, or medical leave, I’d be there even watching the red carpet show checking out my favourite stars who are mostly never my age. Older I mean, in case you are thinking of alerting the FBI.

That habit has since decreased ever since they stop putting good (not great) standup comics up there as hosts. Sure, there were glitches when I was home to watch the show hosted by Whoopi Goldberg, but she’s not bad as host as she is comparative to mongrel turd as a comedienne.

When I started watching them live, Billy Crystal was the host. While he’s so and so as a comedian, on Oscar stage he was the man. I have not seen any of Bob Hope hosted show, and I am sure that he was awesome, but for my generation and the generations to follow, Crystal was the definitive Academy Awards host. Steve Martin comes close and I had no issues with David Letterman when they were slotted in between the Crystal Years.

But Crystal was the man. As Facebook user, Doug Long puts it in recently started group called Bring Billy Crystal Back as Host of the Academy Awards, “He's the best of the modern Oscar hosts. Great humor mixed with a knowledge and appreciation of Hollywood and film. His medleys and parodies of nominated films are legendary, as are the fresh jokes such as when Jack Palance won and did the one-handed push-ups”.

I watched the show for the hosts, hoping to get good jokes, a gentle ribbing of the celebrities (unlike the roasting Rick Gervais delivered at the Global Globe, shock and awe technique mostly), the funny song medleys, and Crystals easy chemistry with the audience and us, the viewers. What happened yesterday was failed open mike night.

Not that the duo was bad, mind you. Anne Hatheway was funny in places, did a terrific song and dance routine, but was mostly lost. That was her. James Franco needed a GPS. It was poor writing, planning, and mostly unnecessary yapping. The presenters were mostly unfunny. Hell, Hugh Jackman was not funny. There was a brief relief when the ever charming and funny Robert Downey Jr, and the newly charming and recently funny Jude Law took the stage. Too brief.

And when Crystal appeared briefly, it was like God himself ascended, you can see the audiences faces, the delight seeing him back.

I know Crystal is not getting younger but to hell with the whole younger demography crap. We have the spending power and we control the, err, remote controls. Unless you are a husband. The younger demography thing is a myth. Younger people have an attention span of a domestic fly. I dare to say that, because I was one.

So, please, get Crystal back. We miss him. Go online and see how much he has been missed. I have just joined the group at http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=12738035350, you might want to do the same too. At least you don’t need a remote control for that.