I called the year 2025 the end of a crappy trilogy in my review last year. I jumped to a conclusion actually; my mistake.
Malaysia entered 2025 amid fiscal constraints, subsidy
reforms, uneven global trade, and a weak ringgit, knees, joints, and kidneys,
but the economy continued to advance, even as the overall outlook remained
cautious by walking on soft-heeled shoes.
Anyway, upon researching important events last year, one of
the leading news stories was MRT breakdowns in Singapore.
Singapore!
Apparently there were at least “15 rail disruptions in just three months, leading to
widespread scrutiny of the MRT network’s efficiency. “The breakdowns thrust
Singapore’s public transport into the spotlight as frustrated commuters
questioned the reliability of rail. ”.
And they say their food is better despite the overwhelming
consensus that ours is better, and they can’t even pronounce durian properly
(Dew-ree-yan). Lee Kuan Yew is not alive for comments.
Right, let’s get back to Malaysia. Economy-wise, how did we
fare? Pretty poor according to this report.
Towards the end the writer got emotional, perhaps about the weight issue, and wrote, “Yet, instead of stalling, the country held its nerve,
tightened its belt, and pressed ahead with reforms that reshaped its economic
landscape and strengthened the foundations for long-term resilience.” This
should improve sales of belts. Hulk Hogan is not ready for comments.
March
In March, a video of 3 Pagi Era presenters — Nabil Ahmad,
Azad Jazmin John Louis Jeffri and Radin Amir Affendy—showed them mimicking
movements associated with the Thaipusam ‘kavadi’ ritual during an on-air
segment, with chants of “Vel, Vel!” audible in the background.
The clip spread rapidly online, prompting outrage from the
Hindu community and leading to multiple police reports. The trio were suspended, publicly apologised and later visited Batu Caves
to seek forgiveness. Lord Muruga was nowhere to be seen for comments.
April
April was explosive, like, literally. As per this report, a massive gas pipeline blaze at Putra Heights,
Selangor, sent shockwaves through surrounding communities, with flames visible
kilometres away.
An independent panel was appointed to review the incident,
while over 36 residents filed a RM68 million lawsuit against Petronas Gas,
local authorities, and developers following the April 1 explosion that
displaced hundreds. Michael Bay was not available for comments.
July
Singapore made the news again. This time a bloody sinkhole.
Singapore!
This was in Tanjong Katong (not kartun) : On July 26, a car fell into a sinkhole that had opened suddenly along Tanjong
Katong Road said the report. From what I know, sinkholes don’t send warning
messages. It always happens suddenly. And so, the woman driver was pulled out
by workers who were close by and subsequently taken to Raffles Hospital without
the car.
“The unexpected incident shocked Singaporeans, who rarely
face such hazards, and they became versed in sinkholes overnight,” said the
report. Now, we’re going to have a fight as to who has better sinkholes,
Singapore or Malaysia?
Yes, it is surprising that the bloody perfect Singapore has sinkholes, but I am sated with
the
fact that where there are assholes, there will be sinkholes. Hey, we have them
too. Like take a look at this headline, “Masjid India Sinkhole Strikes Again!”, which
sounds like old ninja flick sequels.
August
Let’s see what happened globally, oh yeah, an estimated 300,000 protesters march across the Sydney
Harbour Bridge, Australia, in support of Palestine, calling for a permanent
ceasefire in Gaza; the largest protest in Sydney's history. Meanwhile,
Israel gaslighted them and are happily continuing to bomb the bejesus out of
anything and anywhere till today. God’s chosen people was too busy to issue a
comment.
Also, in this month, they held first ever humanoid game
event, martial arts and all that. It should be cause for concern, especially
for film fans who have watched many films about dystopian future. Easy, easy,
don’t worry. The entire game is comprised of the bloody chaos; the damned thing
is about as steady as a dude after 8 cans of beers according to this report. The excerpt:
During soccer matches, child-size ones tripped over each
other, falling down like dominoes. One goalkeeper robot stood placidly as its
opponent kicked a ball at its legs several times before finally managing to
score.
One robot by China’s Unitree Robotics plowed into a human
staff member while sprinting during a track event, knocking him down.
Isac Asimov is too dead to comment.
September
I turned 52. That’s what happened in September, so shut up.
October
In October, Malaysia found itself trending internationally
after US President Donald Trump’s arrival for the Asean Summit in Kuala Lumpur.
Footage of Trump performing his stupid arm movements to
traditional drumming that totally didn’t demand a dance during the official
welcome ceremony alongside Prime Minister Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim quickly went
viral, racking up millions of views globally. Never mind that they looked like
geriatric breakdancers, Malaysian were already familiar with Anwar’s dance and the he way he is still dancing around election promises.
Indeed Malaysia was instrumental in brokering the peace accord between Thailand
and Cambodia, which was also recognised and gained continuous praise from the
United States and Asean member states. The peace deal, known as the Kuala
Lumpur Peace Accord, was signed in Kuala Lumpur by Thailand’s Prime Minister
Anutin Charnvirakul and Cambodian Prime Minister Hun Manet, with President
Donald Trump and Prime Minister Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim signing as witnesses.
Anwar was gifted with a pen by Trump, which the former is very proud of. He
definitely will cherish it, sleep with it and possibly use it for other
voluntary activities.
Last I heard, Thailand and Cambodia are still kicking each other’s asses.
November
In November, controversy arose when Professor Solehah
Yaacob, a lecturer at the International Islamic University Malaysia (IIUM),
claimed ancient Romans had learned how to make lontong and daging
rendang from the Malays. Oh wait, wrong info. She said the tunic and toga
wearing blokes learned shipbuilding techniques from Malays.
The claim drew swift backlash from historians and academics,
who criticised it as unsubstantiated. Ancient Rome was not available for
comment and IIUM distanced itself from the remarks and was last seen in Alaska.
Meanwhile, there was this news of arrest of former Prime
Minister’s aide and whistleblower Albert Tei. This follows the arrest of the PM’s former senior political secretary Datuk
Seri Shamsul Iskandar Mohd Akin who pleaded not guilty to four corruption
charges of having obtained and received bribes from Tei in the form of cash
worth RM140,000 and over RM36,000 in furniture and electrical appliances,
including hair dryer I suppose despite him being balder than me. Tei’s
whistleblowing didn’t draw any comments from music critics though.
Just when you thought November would be better, we were hit
by the news that the Football Association of Malaysia (FAM) was fined RM1.9 million, and seven players were banned for 12
months after Fifa found that forged documents were used to justify naturalised
players used in the Asian Cup qualifiers. To think that we even cared about the
useless relic FAM was amazing, looking at the responses and criticisms.
December
December is ending shortly, after I post this and thank god
for that. What a lousy year. I won’t say the worse of last several years, but
it’s about as B-Grade as a Kardashian.
It began with the news of the arrest of 200 guys (or gays, I
don’t know) at a sauna. The thing is, the cops were baffled as to not
knowing what to do with the arrest, as the same report noted, “The court
released everyone who had been detailed because police were unable to prove
anyone had been exploited or coerced into ‘prostitution, or abnormal sexual
activity’.
Frankly I don’t give two hoots about what you do your
private parts with whom, but this was a national embarrassment, even after an
Italian publication reported about the first full-blown homosexual Prime
minister in Malaysia.
So, here we are. Another year, another bunch of lousy
events. Anyway, wishing y’all a happy New Year.
My review for previous years:
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