Kajang by-election: A fence-sitter's view.

To be or no to...ouch.

If the recent Kajang election was a four digit lottery draw, there would be many winners, and too little cash to spread around. It was that predictable. Never mind that the original candidate for Pakatan Rakyat, Anwar Ibrahim (henceforth referred to as AI), was called back to the court of law rendering him unqualified to contest for that seat, he always has a backup plan, to have a replacement who is equally, if not more, brilliant, a great tactician, a proven politician that have served the Malaysians well for a long time in the past, a dedicated politician who puts the need of the people ahead of own family.

He chose…his wife.

But it was devastating to note that she had tough fight, not earning a massive majority as this writer expected. Maybe there were a few who felt that the opposing candidate from MCA look like someone they like to hit on who didn’t vote for Kak Wan (Wan Azizah, AI’s wife).

But something went wrong somewhere. It was AI (which interestingly is an acronym for Artificial Intelligence) who was supposed to be there, as the desas desus (Malay slang for rumour) noted that he wanted to become the Selangor Menteri Besar and there were pressure for the current MB to resign. But Selangor’s chief, a former successful corporate lion, refused to even move his mane, much less his posterior from the seat.

Truth is, clock is ticking for AI. He is not the youthful, idealistic, energetic, rousing speech-maker that he once was. Instead, we have an old man, with a familiar goatie that look like it would rather hang around with real goats, an eye which is enhanced probably by contact lens (he used to wear glass, but then again, I suppose, his wife, an optician or something, got it done so that he would have long, hey, wait, I am not done yet, I meant, both short and long sights), and eyebrow that he kept raising fearing that it might fall below his nose which would not be a bad idea as it would create the image of a swashbuckling Eroll Flynn (One of the first on-screen Robin Hood) in his 90s.

All if fine for this writer. My question is, what does his allies think of him now? Sure, they used him as “Victimised poor bloke hammered by ruling party” ticket, but is he going to be an hindrance to the allies growth. Forget about the allies, what about the poor blokes who were once young, idealistic worshippers of AI who hopped that they could join him, and possible pick up the baton from him when he is all shagged out, er-hum, and run the party and hopefully the country?

They still have to wait. As for the allies, they will have to be satisfied with their little kingdoms or states that they rule. Now, the Islamic Party (PAS) are the one which is going to be really pissed if the Selangor Menteri Besar is forced to leave (like sawing off his hand that stuck to the arm of his chair) as he is a quite favoured to be there.

As for DAP, they are still going to be the bitching, nagging, whining, frustrated blokes and gals who are in no way going to go to Putrajaya if AI is still going to be their jumping platform (he might heave them too high that they might end up in Sumatera). They need a break. They need to rule too as would any boys and gals with ambition would. They too have plan for the people of Malaysia, which they have been refining and polishing over the decades that you can actually see through it and see the DAP chief, Lim Kit Siang’s grinning face, the look of hope and joy as sincere as an alligator lost in a chicken coop.

Are these allies going to continue with their relationship with Parti Keadilan Rakyat, a party that was founded by AI that resulted from mostly the rumination culled from the exploits of his certain physical appendage? Or would they decide enough with an apple of dubious nature, and move on with their own strength which mostly has been noises. Plenty of them. Like firecrackers in the neighbourhood just when you thought your infant has taken its first step into the lalaland.

Nobody is perfect as they say, including one you worship, or so says the one who is not worshipping what you worship. Doesn’t matter to an agnostic like me. I am fine sitting on the fence, till the sharper bit start poking me arse. But that is not the problem with those who have issues with the neutrals. Fence sitters earn the ire of the supporters. Because A would think you are actually supporting B and B will accuse you of being pro-A and these two supporters are not anymore smarter than a 4 year old who can get beyond And B alphabetically.

But come election, the leaders of these factions would announce that they can woo the fence-sitters and it makes you ask whether are there actually fence sitters out there? They are. They could be both the silent majority and the noisy minority or vice versa. They could anyone, you, me and the dog named Boo. To me, fence sitters are also those who can be easily swayed by last minute emotional outburst, like the moment when you want to strike the waiter down because he brought you fried rice when you actually asked for fried Bee-hoon Singapore style. And he is not even from the Island.

Aside: There was this disgusting scene I saw once at a food court. A family sitting at the next table ordered drinks and the waiter, a Bangladeshi, got the wrong ones. The head of the family, father this time, gave an earful to the waiter. And it didn’t end there. His son, probably in his early teens, continued balanced out the whole thing by giving an earful to the other side, including a couple of table banging to prove his point. Proud father and son moment. This is what our country, used to be known for the Budi Bahasa (roughly translated as ‘courtesy’) culture, have become. End of aside.

I am writing this mainly not entirely because I am affected by the by-election result. Maybe a little. But mostly because I couldn’t sleep. And what better way to hit the hay then after you have unleashed your venom. But all these talks about AI, his actions and sitting on the fence are not making my ass feel better. Damn.